


Yukina's Descendant ~Goread Thenovel~

by orphan_account



Category: Evillious Chronicles
Genre: I might vague things sometimes oops, crack fic so don't get triggered, the true plot of pop team epic owo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-03-26 06:58:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13852473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Goread Thenovel has only lived for one purpose - to get people to buy the book Deadly Sins of Evil: master of the heavenly yard. However, with his friends always at each other's throats, and people's unwillingness to buy the novel, will he succeed?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Goread is an actual character. If you still think he isn't, then go read the novel.

Goread Thenovel.

He was considered the Master of the Bookish Yard, as he had read many books and has told many stories.

Yet, he had grown up with a sense of duty. He was born with only one purpose, and that was ingrained in his mind ever since his conception.

He had...

...to sell the book  _Deadly Sins of Evil: master of the heavenly yard_.


	2. goread has friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goread dies the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO JUST KIDDING BUT SERIOUSLY I WROTE THIS AS A JOKE FOR MY FRIEND CHELL BUT I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD CONTINUE  
> also if you can't read through this entire chapter without getting triggered then don't read

Goread sat in a circle with his friends, which he surprisingly has. I mean where the hell do you find other people in real life who love Evillious? (jk)

There was Miss Bani, who pretended she was a descendant of Banica Conchita even though we all know the bloodline stopped at Germaine. Miss was a cannibal though, so good for her I guess????

Then there was Cawa Svery, who had a weird family past. She had a few issues regarding her childhood (aka she's the TVTropes troubled student thing). Basically she acts like a mix of Bhad Bhabie and Lil Tay and always flexes on the haters. But since this book is childhood friendly (not really), I'll be doing light censoring (lol no I won't).

Angryth Atshe always acted like a girl on her shark week all the time - or, to put it into terms you Evillious nerds can understand, he's basically Gear but with a different hair color (but since the way these characters look are "up to your interpretation" I won't be listing specifics). Also, don't call him a girl even though he kinda looks like one (okay how bout think Marth but with Gear's gloomy personality ;0).

Didnth Aveaturn was that tsundere thing. He denied any interest he had in girls, or pretty much anything. The only time he'll say yes is if you ask a negative question (or something like "Do you not like Fire Emblem?" > >).

Ifyou Wannase is the pervert of the group. She ships everything she sees. She's that stupid fangirl of Evillious who unironically ships Mallerian, thinking it's "cute" (and if you unironically ship Mallerian then leave because 1. you're fucked in the head, and 2. it's not gonna be in this story).

Eher Activities is that person who likes to trigger people over whatever gets you triggered in 2018. His catchphrase is "THERE ARE ONLY TWO GENDERS: A MAN AND A MOUSE!" Most of it is ironic... I think. Honestly he'll find out whatever gets you triggered and trigger you because that's just how it is.

Finally, our protagonist, Goread Thenovel. For his face, it is the  _master of the heavenly yard_ front cover. For his body, it is the "master of the heavenly yard" thumbnail. His left and right arms are the description of the song via YouTube and NicoNico Douga. For his legs, well... they're Yukina's rollam bird feather pens. Also he doesn't have a defined gender but for gender equality's sake since it's 2018 I'm calling him a "he." You're welcome. Oh and did I mention he hates fans that are in the two Discord servers, any fan on Tumblr except for the translator and the Wiki admins, and the Twitter role-players? Because if I didn't well if you come to him saying you're one of the three he will kill you on the spot because you don't deserve to be in the fandom (I'm semi-joking. Semi.). Also he's a descendant of Yukina Freezis, which is possible through some Evillious magic and Black Boxes however it works.

So yeah they were basically discussing good marketing techniques on how to sell the novel because right now, only people who lived in Japan and the translator (you know who they are but I'm friends with someone who knows them so I'll leave their name out of it) had it. Everyone else didn't know Japanese so they're basing everything off the Wiki (seriously do not do this). Miss tried saying that the book was inedible, so they could use that as a pros for the book, but ended up almost eating Goread's face. Cawa flexed on the fact that she had the book, but because of her language, they didn't use that idea.

Angryth said that he would threaten anyone who didn't buy the book, and it was considered due to the fact that Angryth always followed up on his threats. Didnth just said "no" to everything but because he _didn't_ have any better ideas he just stayed quiet. Ifyou said that Allen x Riliane was canon in which it isn't (again if you unironically ship this go die). Eher said that Allen was a girl and that the ship couldn't work out anyway, triggering Ifyou. Finally, Goread had a decent idea.

"How about we sing the song?"

All heads whipped towards Goread.

"Yes! I've been practicing my high notes! I will take the role of Germaine!" Miss said.

Cawa sighed. "Well, I ain't nothing like you hoes, so sign me out."

"Are you calling me a hoe?!" Angryth yelled. "I'll sing just because I have a GREAT voice, and all of you know it."

"Fine by me. I'll have to say no, though," Didnth said.

"But you ALWAYS say no!" Ifyou yelled. She has a crush on Didnth so there's some fanfic fuel for you nerds. "I'll sing!"

"I fear that I'll drive away potential customers, so Goread can have the final part," Eher said.

"Well, I guess that settles it. Now, to rehearse!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret life


	3. sHUUEN NO DAIJI NO HATE-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goread and his friends try to sing, but end up sounding like Jubyphonic. If you like Jubyphonic, let me just tell you that "sounding like Jubyphonic" isn't a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again this is supposed to read like a crack fic so if you're taking this story seriously and feel offended then stop reading  
> also I actually do dislike jubyphonic, too much nasally autotune

Goread threw pieces of paper at his friends. "Here's your script now learn the song," he said, going into his private room to practice on his own. This angered Ifyou. "Hey, Goread's the main character of this story AND the song, so he should be practicing with us!"

"Stop hitting on every boy in our group," Miss commented.

"Just eat him if you want him so damn much."

"Can you all just shut up and sing?!" Angryth said. He then proceeded to sing what he was supposed to sing.

"WE SHOULD DO A BLEND TEST!"

Miss and Angryth stared at Ifyou. "What the fuck?!" the two said at the same time without jinxing each other.

"You don't understand. Basically, we pair up and sing the same set of lines together, and whoever sounds the best together will have more lines together," Ifyou explained.

"I don't get it," Miss said.

"Well, let's choose a song. Say,  _Blessed Messiah and the Tower of Ai_ -"

"This is an Evillious fic, not a Hitoshizuku fic, idiot," Angryth told her sternly.

"But it's the name of this chapter!"

"...Fine," Angryth grumbled. "Here, me and Miss'll do it first."

So Angryth and Miss sang and they sounded decent together. Then Angryth and Ifyou sang, and, well, the blending was worse. Miss and Ifyou sang and it was fine.

"Where's Goread? He should join us," Miss said.

"Guys, I'm back, and I have bad news," Goread said conveniently, suddenly appearing in front of the rest for some reason. "Someone's here!"

"Yeah, what's so bad about that?" Ifyou asked. "Any visitors are good, right?"

"I mean, sure, but..." Goread looked at the floor, and the others knew.

_Oh dear god..._

.

"GOREAD!!!! How's my hardworking descendant doing?" Yukina Freezis (wow guest appearance much??) said, pinching Goread's spine (remember his face is a book). Clarith was standing behind her, shooting an apologetic look towards the others.

"Hi, one thousand greats grandma. Wh-what brings you here?" Goread asked, scared. The outside crew, aka if you bothered to remember is Cawa, Didnth, and Eher, almost pitied Goread for his situation.

"Nothing! Just... how well is  _master of the heavenly yard_ selling?"

"Well..."

"We're actually reigning in a lotta dough, how bow dah?" Cawa bragged.

"Uh, no we're not," Didnth said.

"Shut up, Didnth. We don't wanna trigger Yukina to death," Eher sighed.

"Says you."

"Guys, I'M ONLY NINE YEARS OLD AND I'M ALREADY WRITING NOVELS THAT YOU GUYS CAN'T EVEN READ! HA!" Lil Yuki said. The others were surprised.

"Wh-"

"YOU BROKE ASS HOES CAN'T EVEN _COMPARE_ TO ME! I'M BETTER THAN THAT BITCH BHAD BHATSUNE!"

Yukina took off her hat to reveal black hair, instead of the dark brown that Yukina inherited from Keel. Lil Yuki also put on some sunglasses, which triggered Cawa.

"Oh yeah?! Fite me 1v1 no items Fox only Final Destination!!!!" (stfu cawa u play taunt parties on for fun #exposed)

"Uh, Yuki, if you're just, well, Yuki, then... who's that?" Goread pointed to Clarith, and I'm 99.9% sure you guys forgot she was in the room.

"I'm just Haku," Haku said, and then dabbed. After that, she and Yuki left.

"...What even just happened?" Eher asked.

"Nobody knows," Goread said, then he noticed a phone on the table left by Lil Yuki. He opened it to see-

"OH NO! NOT THE DISCORD OF (censoring because I don't wanna be exposed by this discord server bye)!" He typed out a bunch of profanities towards the members and watched as he got banned. Goread smiled.

"Hey, singing group, come out here! I think we're ready to market the book!" Miss, Ifyou, and Angryth walked out.

"Goread! Where were you? We were doing a blend test!" Ifyou said.

"Nah, I have a different plan," Goread said. Then he put on his best Gallerian face and did that hand signal thing. Even Eher was scared.

"Time to do some business."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god more bhad bhabie and lil tay references ;;; I'm so sorry  
> so I said that the way these characters look are up to your interpretation but I have some specific looks for them so?? I'll be working on drawing them and stuff (haha wow self-contradictory much)  
> it would also be nice to see other people draw these characters since I've never seen art lmao but not necessary uwu


End file.
